casualty of love

casualty of love //
just tryna make it //
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White Boys.

welaughandplay:

they can get it.

that is all i’m saying.

they can really get it.

ha.

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badpeopleanonymous:

ibeggedformercytwice:

jonnovstheinternet:

iwasateenagegary:

batwithbutterflywings:

sirisles:

dixiesaurer:

aaronwarner-anderson:

mongezeas:

g0kudera:

sarahdesdemona:

ninth-level-of-awesome:

I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.

Also, if you’re burying a full body, make sure you bury them vertically. Satellites orbiting earth look for holes that are approx. 6ft long because that’s suspicious. Ideally though, drain your body of fluids in a tub ((mix fluids with bleach and let them soak before draining and take precautions to keep your house from smelling like death from your sink and whatnot. Draining the body also keeps decomp at bay a bit and makes it easier to portion)) and cut it to bits. It’s easier to bury a head than a whole body, and takes less time so you don’t have to tell your neighbors, “Oh, I’m night gardening!”
Also, if a dog happens across it, it’s more likely it will devour a single body part than all of your ex-husband.
Another method is to put it into a septic tank. They’re a plethora of bacteria, and the smell of waste covers the smell of decomposition very well.
You should also destroy all teeth, massacre the face and burn fingerprints/remove finger tips to keep from identifying by anything other than DNA.
…I didn’t come up with these ideas, just what I’ve gleaned from reading on the internet.

i used to joke about Tumblr teaching us how to get away with murder, but fuck, man

the thing is when i see this i want to go kill a man just because i have the knowledge

thanks tumblr

Remember when you’re at the crime scene to wipe down all surfaces and then take the victims hands and touch things with them. Pick up cups and run the hands along table tops. A room with zero fingerprints is very suspicious.
If you live near the ocean you can drain the body and cut up the cadaver into small pieces then mix it all together with fish parts and dispose of it easily by pretending to chum the water for fish and sharks. Actually do chum the water a bit before dumping in your victim to be sure there are plenty of hungry fish around. Stick around and fish for a while so anyone who happens to see you won’t get suspicious. This way you don’t have any body parts lying around waiting to be dug up and identified. Plus you might catch a marlin or something.

PLUS YOU MIGHT CATCH A MARLIN

Jesus fucking christ Tumblr

This is great. But ya’ll forgot to make sure there’s nothing with your name in the trash that you dump yah body parts in.

If you can get your hands on some sodium hydroxide (e.g. from like a soap supply store, remember pay cash and use a fake name etc) this will totally screw the dna analysis from the blood if you spray the shit everywhere you wont even have to clean the blood at the scene up

AND, in prep the unlikely situation (if you didn’t follow these instructions correctly) your body is found, make sure you remove the mandible from the head and deposit it else where. Preferably a couple of miles (way over twenty I suggest) from where you hid the original body.
The mandible is used in facial reconstruction a lot and without the mandible they cannot collect a clear picture of what your victim looked like. This was they cannot use missing persons as easily and if they do it would take them even longer. More than likely without the mandible, a massacred face, no teeth and burnt of fingertips you should be looking at your victim being a John Doe. For a very long time.
Oh and in case it hadn’t already occurred to you, buy a weapon to do the deed. Not an unusual weapon, not using a credit card, not in a main department store (preferably). I suggest everyday kitchen utensils or gardening equipment that would be common in most household homes. Look online and do some reason, the more popular a product the more you should use it. That way they can’t exactly look back at the sales records.
And don’t keep that weapon in the house or anyway near your residence. Don’t even bury it with the main body. I’d bury it with the mandible myself. Make sure you leave no finger prints, wear gloves etc. This isn’t exactly rocket science so you should understand it quite easily.

You should also keep hydrogen peroxide with you when you’re doing your dirty work. It destroys the DNA in blood, so if you should happen to cut yourself or if you need to make a quick getaway and don’t have time to properly take care of the victim’s blood, that will invalidate it as evidence. The Boondock Saints shows the characters using ammonia, but apparently that would only temporarily corrupt the evidence and the effect could be reversed.
If you’re killing someone because you’re a psychopath and want to find out what it’s like, kill someone you don’t know who doesn’t live anywhere near you. You can still get away with it if it’s someone you know, but it’s easier all around if they have no reason to suspect you.
If you’re going to be a serial killer, do your best to avoid forming a pattern. Find your victims in different settings and locations, choose people of varying age, means, and racial background, and definitely don’t bury all the bodies in the same spot. If possible use different methods to kill them, or if you’re going to use a knife every time don’t use the same type and use it in different ways. The above is true; the weapon should be generic.
When it comes to serial killing, there’s a big temptation to either take souvenirs or leave calling cards. Both of these are ill-advised, but if you feel the need, take something small, both in its size and how much it will be missed from the crime scene. Since you’re destroying the teeth anyway, perhaps save one of them to keep tucked away. Or better yet, take a scrap of their clothing and then destroy the rest. If you need to leave a calling card, make it something that would be impossible to trace and unlikely to be noticed. For example, place a blank post-it note somewhere at the scene, or a package of them. Either way be sure to wear gloves so that you don’t leave any traces of skin or hair in the adhesive. While it is nice to have recognition, it’s much nicer not to get caught. So sate your appetite for glory knowing that if someone does find the pattern, they’ll never be able to trace it back to you and you’ll drive them mad.

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